Mother, Madonna, Whore: The Idealization and Denigration of by Estela Welldon

By Estela Welldon

Welldon explores why the standard in their our bodies is key to women's psychology; how this can bring about self-mutilation; and the way such perverse habit can also be aimed toward items which ladies see as their very own creations, in particular their infants. the capability reasons and effects of those stipulations, together with maternal and paternal incest and its widespread aftermath, prostitution, also are mentioned.

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Additional info for Mother, Madonna, Whore: The Idealization and Denigration of Motherhood

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But what 1 would like to emphasize here is my patient’s massive denial of herself as a whole human being and her utter self-denigration as a woman. She came to consult me under the easy disguise of premenstrual tension, and per haps half -be1ieved this explanation. Let me now go to the heart of the matter, which camc up much later during treatment. After the abortion and the bargained wedding, a long saga of complaints issued from her husband about her physical looks. First he objected to the size of her nose, and proceeded to ‘suggest’ a cosmetic operation for which he was only too willing t o pay.

This was accompanied by her being actually chained to the bed, completely immobilized and utterly subservient to her partner. Afterwards she would find the whole exercise appalling and would feel depressed and unworthy of any tenderness or love. During therapy it became apparent that this woman’s fantasies had to do with an uncaring and neglectful mother who had made a very profitable marriage to a man she deeply despised. My patient was unable to feel deserving of any man’s love, and she would conjure up the fantasy of her mother and identify with her during sexual intercourse.

L f only I could get pregnant by him, he would have to learn then who is in control, and he’d have to respect me, since I’d be carrying his child. I hate him, but I don’t want to show it. 1 want to hurt him really deeply and I know this would be the best way since he won’t be able to get rid of me. These compulsive ruminations aroused her sexually and she was able to derive a great sense of erotic pleasure and to achieve momentary relief from her anxiety, although as soon as sexual intercourse was over she was filled with self-disgust.

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