An Encyclopedia of Modern American Humor. by Bennett Cerf, Doug Anderson

By Bennett Cerf, Doug Anderson

An Encyclopedia of contemporary American Humor.

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Extra info for An Encyclopedia of Modern American Humor.

Sample text

It just seems a little bit funny to have somebody you were in the habit of thinking was a gentleman come to your home and use language like that to you, "Oh, gize to that's all. " she in said, "I can't Why should your head. said. " "Won't you tell me what done something to hurt your feelings, honey? The way you were, over the phone, you had me worried all day. " "I certainly wouldn't like to feel," she said, "that I was interfering "That's what I'm asking you," he said. done? Have I with your work.

The tale varies as to how many miles of water were scraped clean of shellfish and how much poultry laid down its life for this experiment, but most versions come together with the introduction of two huge apple pies. The Cuban champion went on the ropes after two large slices and was assisted out. Anderson ate his own placidly, then reached across the table for the section left by his antagonist. He hesitated for a moment and then called the waiter. He wanted a piece of cheese to put on it. He liked to race horses and did, but he was modest about it.

Their aspirations were It ushers and obviously elsewhere. "I wonder where Mr. " asked Mr. Banks for the tenth time. "Oh, he's somewhere. He's always late," said Mr. Tringle amiably. " "But some of the bridal party aren't here yet," protested Mr. Banks. "The groom isn't here. " "Some of the bridal party is never here," said Mr. Tringle. "The groom don't do nothing in weddings. Everything goes all right. You see. Don't worry. Now if you young ladies will line up in pairs outside that there door—" They lined up, tittering and unwilling, as people line up for a group photograph which nobody wants taken.

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